WOW

It's been a ton of days since I've posted. Rose is back in school, I'm off of work. Can't get the right meds for my migraines. To top it off, I was denied short term disability and did not get a pay check today....
Life is just messed up for now, it will get better.
I'm trying another medicine, I think it is the 4th one now. I've had allergic reactions, paid for medicines that I can't take because I've had gastric bypass. Some medicines will just not work in my system.
I guess this is my journal page for now. I'm a bit depressed, and am stuck in my backened out bedroom.
I'm bored.
Anyone out there???

Painful to be alive

Today just had sunshine, storms and thunder, and that was just in my head.

I suffer from Migraines that just don't go away. I have days when I don't leave my room, my prison cell lined with black sheets draped over my lilac curtains so that the sunshine doesn't show.

I don't understand why pain can be so bad, why a good day is never long enough, why I can be surrounded by so much good, so much beauty around me, and yet the pain can dull all that is good around me. Today is just one of many days that just don't seem to end, a day when my "cell" is closing in on me.

I want to be outside working in my yard, enjoying the gifts that God has given us to enjoy. I just need a normal day, when I can speak and think clearly; A day where I don't have to wait for the words to come from my mouth, when the thoughts don't just sit there waiting for the brain to let them out as words of intelligence from my mouth.

I'm a happy and blessed person, just debilitated by my migraines, no medicine I can take to take away the pain, to dull the sunshine, to make my life better.
I want to enjoy life again, to cut my grass, pull weeds and grow things of beauty.

Today is just another day filled with pain.

WOW

What a difference a good night's sleep does for your soul.
I'm going outside now to enjoy the sunshine, do some things I love, and a few that I don't............but I will be outside!!!
Wishing all of you a smile on your face that will not go away!!
Rachel

A full moon week

So the last two days have been "full MOON" days. Anyone that works in customer service, a hospital, or just one smart cookie, knows a full moon means that all the weird and mean spirited people come out of the woodwork.

It sure has been a long week, I'm drained and I miss my daughter.

She was gone one week to stay with my parents in Florida, home for one day just to leave for Michigan.

I've been really busy trying to keep my self together, and my critters keep me company.

So tomorrow is Saturday and I plan to be busy all day.

My squash are ready again, I need to cut my grass, weed a few flower beds, but this is how I UNwind.

You know life is funny, I've spent my life trying to be so independent, just to realize I want someone to share my everyday life with. Go figure!!

Check out my plants??? I plant, they grow, we share and we eat.

Today is almost over, I'll be happy to see tomorrow.

Just hanging out

Today started of with a horrible nights sleep, nightmares, guess my life is creeping in to my sleep.

I go to a different doctor on Tuesday for my migraines.

I saw on the news tonight that Botox and/or a face lift can help Migraines.....I told my Doctor that 2 years ago...........yes I did Botox 3 times in 2006/2007!!!

The Botox that keep all those (ripples) off of my forehead, also keep away those nasty Migraines and I told the doctor then, ANYONE want to donate the $170.00 for me to have it done now?????

I told my doctor then that I didn't have any Migraine when I had the shots.... Guess I'm smarter than the average JANE....

Mom and Dad called this morning, since Rose quit her job on Thursday, they wanted us to meet them half way for her to visit for a week or so. YES, I drove to Prattville @ 10:30 this morning, and drove back alone........:-(

Even though she's in the hormonal teenage years, and we fuss a lot, we do spend a good deal of time together, and I already miss her.

Felix is on the bed with me, go figure.

Hope everyone is doing well, and who knows, I may get to do some scrapbook pages this week-end. I really need to make several cards.............anyone game???

The picture above was after my volunteer session last Sunday at the AirShow. Rose and I both were soaked, we had to put my canvas shopping bags on the car seats before driving home. Rose said I looked like a drowning rat, I agreed. We had to peel our wet clothes off after we got home.

The pictures were taken at least an hour after we got rained on, and Rose's shirt really shows how wet we were.

Hope everyone is doing well, good night!!

Rachel

We didn't know until the next day that straight line winds had caused the death of a six year old boy. I heard the collective screams from the South parking field where I was stationed. The winds were so strong I couldn't stand up. It was like walking while laying down forward, almost like a someone was playing a trick on my body.

MIGRAINE

Another migraine, another day not being able to work. I can't stand up straight with the meds. Certainly can't think straight, makes talking to the public a real nightmare.

I'm going back to bed now.

On a brighter note, I spotted a few baby squash in my garden last night. Can hardly wait to share with my buds.

Rachel

Heavy Heart

Today we gave our Jack Russell a new home. We loved her very much, but she and our cat Felix just couldn't see eye to eye on who was boss. I've cried for hours, even though I know we did the right thing.

Allie is living with a couple about the same age as I am, and they recently lost there girl JR, Sophie, to illness and her brother Harley was lonesome. I've already received pictures of them playing together and having fun. We stayed an hour before Rose and I said good bye.

I didn't know it would be so hard, I didn't know I would be so SAD. I can't fight the tears and I miss her being here to greet me when I get home. She stood on the back of the couch so she could be in the front window, I miss that.

Tonight will be long without her being curled up under the covers in the bend of my legs. OK, I know she is only a dog, but she had become family to me.

Thanks for sharing my life, my stories, my emotions, all of you are dear to me.

I can't "talk" about it know, so words on "paper" is all I can do.

Love you all !!!

Rachel